The Blog
Today is December 17, 2021…30 years ago tonight I shot and killed my boyfriend in self defense. I used to say that in a blink of an eye my life changed forever. To be honest thats not true. So many times I just knew he was going to kill me or leave me severly injured somewhere to die. The consequence for fighting to live that night was 17 years of my life taken away. That was 18 Christmas’s, Mother’s Day’s, Birthday’s and every other days of the years that I missed. I spent pproximately 6,042 days or approximately 863 weeks in prison for defending my life against someone who was supposed to love and protect me.
Fast forward 30 years…I have been home for just over 13 years and I have to be honest life hasnt gotten any easier. Dont get me wrong Ill take a bad day out here to a good day in there any day! BUT the discrimination against the formerly incarcerated is so strong. Every time I have gotten a job since Ive been home, I have had to know someone there to get in. Its like my word isnt good enough to be hired. Someone has to vouge for me. When do I become credible again?
I have written and published articles, I have pimped my own trauma for the sake of getting a law passed to help others, I have been in an award winning documentary (And So I Stayed), I have been in the New York Times, on New York One, on the Melissa Harris-Perry Show as an expert witness for Marissa Alexander, I have been interviewed so many times I cannot count. So when do I become credible in the work force?
The mission is clear. We need to free Survivors of Domestic Violence from prison and restore their dignity and good standing in our communities. We have been denied housing due to our felonies, we have been denied jobs due to our felonies, we have been judged by people who are ignorant to what a Survivor is. The only thing we are guilty of is choosing to fight for our lives. No I am not alone. There are so many people out there wrongfully convicted and retraumatized by a system that was supposed to protect us.
The DVSJA is not mine alone, but I call it my baby. I worked, cried, traveled, shared, fought with words, talked to people who couldnt care less and people who hugged me with support and did all of this for over a decade to get the job done. Now the DVSJA is bringing people home for choosing to live.
There is one woman who is currently unjustly incarcerated. Her name is Nikki Addimando. I am sure there are many others, I just happen to knw Nikki and her family and supporters through our work and documentary. We are all colectivly holding our breaths for Governor Hochuls decision on Nikki’s Clemency application. The appealate court did what her pathetic trial court judge did not do. They gave Nikki a lesser sentence based on the DVSJA! Yes our law! BUT that is not good enough. A sentence reduction says something but not enough. A sentence reduction is still years of unjust incarceration. Who benefits? No One! What gets wasted is tax payers money wasted on someone who simply chose to fight back. What continues is the revictimization and retraumatization of Nikki and her family and especially her two young children who witnessed the abuse time after time. Where is the justice? What will it take to make abusers stop terrorizing in their own home? What will it take to stop the system from prosecuting people for defending themselves?
It is simple. We are not believed. The scars, police reports, hospital records, battered womens shelter reports and witness statements mean nothing when itcomes to domestic violence. I lived it. I know. That is why I fought so hard to get the DVSJA passed. Now lets implement it and get these Survivors out of prison and on their way to healing.
Governor Hochul, I respectfully ask you to grant Nicole Addimando clemency on this application. Nothing is to be gained by Nikki doing more years in a NYS prison. I agree that some people need to be incarcerated for their safety and thesafety of others…BUT Nicole Addimando is not one of those people. Are we supposed to let our abusers kill us? Is that what society wants? It seems so bc when we defend ourselves we are prosecuted for it and statistics show that women get MORE time than men for committing the same act. It is 2021. How is any of this still possible? It seems unreal but it is very real.
Free Survivors of Domestic Violence!